Ask the Priestess

There are many places we live in, work in, have fun in, suffer in. There are cities, villages, fields, seas. What I have realised recently, though, is that within those places, there are also spaces. And it is those spaces that hold the real meaning of our memories and reactions. It is the spaces, not the places, that matter. For example, I live in London (UK). Now, London is a huge city and, more importantly, the only one of its kind I like (at least, of all those I have visited or live in). It is full of different nationalities, flavours, architecture, culture... and also of racial disagreements, bad housing, lack of manners, dirty streets. Yet, when I say I like or love London, depending on the mood, I mostly relate to specific spaces of London. So, what do I love about London? The South Bank on a stroll, the lower floor of the Royal Festival Hall where you can see people practise dance, the museums on a school day, the Candid Arts Café and Kenwood House for a cup of tea,...

I have a problem with praise. OK; not a problem per se , more like a disfunctional relationship with it. On the one hand, I love praising people, then observing how it empowers them. When people are praised, they realise their own wonderful characteristics, that others are aware of their efforts and achievements, and that they can go further than they thought. Praise tells them that, even though it may have been hard to reach that certain level, by having achieved they have broken their own ceiling. And if the ceiling is broken, why not push themselves just that bit further, higher, closer to their aspirations? Praise, when devoid of motive other than being the truth, is a wonderful gift, notwithstanding the relative scope of the achievement. Have you ever seen the glow on a child's face when you show your pride at their being able to spoon food into their own mouths? Or at their creativity for having drawn a rainbow with 27 different shades of 3 colours? An...

We learn that to love is to hold. Thinking about it simply, I would agree. After all, hugs are a favourite of mine: hugging, cuddling, snuggling... You can feel the tenderness, the warmth, the joy of them in their very shapes - all requiring a double consonant, like a hug needs two of us. The beauty of an embrace is as mystical as well known, for it can save a life (as it does premature children - see link below), heal our souls as well as our bodies (another link), and enables us to express the greatest depths of love when words fail us - a parent holding its child, friends reuniting, supporting the bereaved or celebrating victory, all are inextricably linked to the wealth of love of the hug (no, no web link - unless you choose to send one in a comment.) But then, hold, now that can be a bit trickier. You can be held captive, or enthralled; hostage, or in amazement; in contempt or in the highest regard. So, which hold is love? Hold has, sadly, a connotation of strength, of ...

The people in my life can sing, can dance, can climb trees and explore the land.   The people in my life live near, some far, live in awe of magic of joy, ecstatic.   The people in my life love sunsets, sunrise, love others, love much, the people in my life.   I, like everyone, am surrounded by the magical love of friends and family. These people, I believe, I created as they have created me, to share and grow and smile. They love me so truly, they sometimes challenge me to go beyond my comfort zone; and, though kicking and screaming, I accept, for I know they will not leave me to flounder alone. This mini-poem (or group of verses, rather) just came unbidden as I was sat here. I chose to share it, because I also believe that, whether I know you personally or not, those of you at the other side of the screen are also people in my life. I honour you, near or far, and thank you for being here, along for the ride.

I have been having a rough time lately, facing my own nonsense. Yes, you know, the kind that nags in your head 'you have to be good to be liked', and 'they don't really want you there', and 'that comment about someone being rude was about you. It doesn't matter if you don't think you have been rude, you have to think harder, because for SURE it was about you! Think, think, think. What have you done!?!?' That nonsense which, though it IS nonsense, can still be quite powerful. Today in particular was just such a (nut)case, with me going round and round in my head all day that my landlord must want me to leave, and that is what the chat in the evening was to be about, and that comment about 'that's just rude' as he was leaving in the morning was about me (now you understand where I got the example). I honestly was seriously considering going online and starting to look for a new place while at work. Except, that is, that I was too busy doi...

I was hoping to spend a quiet day in bed, not for any reason (i.e. I'm healthy, no need to panic), just because I can since it was a Sunday. But no, I realised I actually wanted to go to Richmond Park (I have been in London for five years, but never there), and that I had to somehow explore. So I sloooowly got dressed, even put on some make up (!!), checked the bus map and decided which buses I needed (without checking the TfL website! I'm very proud of myself, as it's become a sort of permanent crutch, that site) and eventually did leave the house. I decided to try and find another way to get to the bus stop, and followed a footpath between the houses. The good news is, I did manage to get to the stop. The so-so news are, it had taken me longer than without the 'shortcut'. And the 'harrumph' news, I had just missed the bus and had to wait another 20 minutes. Thankfully, I had bought myself gloves and a hat the previous evening, so I did not freeze, you m...

There are many sayings about the people in our lives: 'It takes a village to raise a child' 'Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer' 'Together we stand, alone we fall' 'Friends are the family we get to choose'... I sometimes wonder how true they, or any of them, are. But setting that aside, what struck me recently is that they all talk about plurals, groups, not individuals. We are social creatures, and company is essential. I believe I came to this world as myself to experience the wonder, and to acknowledge the pricelessness, of community. I also believe I am not alone in such 'destiny', but rather that we all are so blessed. I give thanks for it every morning as I wake up, and every night as I go to sleep, right along blessing life and the marvel of the world. It is then very distressing to feel the shredding of the fabric of humanity with individuals ripping others asunder, individuals calling to harm the other, individuals...

I was in the tube (subway over the pond) and I saw this couple kissing. Awwww, nice! It does my heart good to see love. Then, I realised the silence. Now, it's hard to hear silence while hurtling along a maze underground on rickety metal tracks. But it was very much there. So I paid attention, and I also realised that the silence was not in the environment, or the people chatting. It was the couple, who had stopped giggling and cooing, and were just kissing. Love is very quiet when we kiss. It made me think (what doesn't?) and love the fact that while we can be all chatty when we are simply together, the deeper we connect, the less we need to say. We just communicate - silently, deeply, wholly. So now, I'm going to be silent. Because I want you all to turn to all those you love and simply kiss them. Kiss your children, your spouse, your parent, your parents, your friends. Kiss them, but say not a word. Because love needs no words.

We all cover ourselves, a logical activity to protect ourselves from the elements. In these cold winter days, particularly if like me you live in a snowy, wet country, layers and layers become caring hugs, warm embraces, portable nests. There are few things more certain to win a sigh of contentment than a frostbitten nose hiding behind a furry scarf, the ice melting in the vapour of one's own body heat. And therein lies the question: have we taken all this love of layers and protection too far for our own good? Certainly, we need to shield our bodies from the weather. That is indisputable, even foolish to consider otherwise (at least, I'd think that of anyone who decides to go out in a blizzard wearing short sleeves, for example).  However, it seems to me that we have taken to adapting the practice to areas of ourselves beyond the merely bodily. We have become, in fact, adept at layering our every reality, every aspect of our personalities, of our thoughts, of our spirits....

P'atrás, ni pa´coger impulso. This may sound (let alone look) exotic to some of you, but it is merely a Spanish saying that loosely translates as 'don't go back even to gain momentum'. I have long believed in this maxim. The future is forward, not behind you; therefore, we should only look and move forward, never behind/backward. I am very blessed to be learning a lot, recently. Yet one of the things I have learned is that this bit of popular wisdom is not quite as right as I always made it out to be. It has taken me many a moment of teeth gritting and consternation; of fear of repeating mistakes; of accepting defeat; of having lost a chunk of my life. But I have to accept what is there: I seem to have created my life of three years ago, again. Grrr!! Grrr? Why am I upset? Although it used to have a quick answer (see above for a 'hint'), that reply is not good enough any more. Certainly, I get angry at my own need to revisit situations. I mean, is the sa...

And so, the year ended. Another year, another end. Another beginning. As a species, we have the marvelous gift of creating new starting points for our lives. We set up dates and hours when we make a cycle end and another commence. Thus, most cultures have set 'new year days' that somehow become momentous despite a certain amount of arbitrary definition. The most arbitrary, interestingly, is the most widespread - the celebration of 31st December/1st January threshold. I mean, after all, the year itself was designed for an emperor and re-designed for a pope. Not really something that really concerns most of us, let alone the flow in nature. And yet, this pivot point IS powerful. Despite the randomness, despite the awkwardness of ending a 12th month named after a 10th by replacing it with a month named after a god, and even despite our modern scientific thinking, it is powerful. We gather together, we party, we are enveloped in good will to each other, we revise our lives an...