'Sunday Best'

We all have a 'Sunday Best' item. For some, it's that oh-so-special dress that makes us look (and feel) like a million dollars; for others, a particular scent; a common one is 'the good dishes' with the gold leaf border and delicate flower motif; or, in my case, a fountain pen.Whatever it is, we all have an item we keep for special occasions, for those particular days that deserve a detail of superiority, for those tasks where a simple plastic ballpen just won't do. 

 

Funny, that.

See, I have long had this 'Sunday Best' fountain pen. Now, I love fountain pens - they glide over the page; they are uniquely personal (don't share yours or the nib'll be ruined); and they reek of permanence, of times when things were built to last merely by changing the odd piece here and there. Whatever you write with a fountain pen, should be worth keeping for ever. My 'Sunday Best' pen was kept sorely for my diary writing.

But today, when I tried to use it, it wouldn't oblige. My diary writing being far from a daily activity, the cartridge was empty  and the ink in the nib had dried up, blocking any new ink from flowing. My 'Sunday Best' pen, carefully kept for a higher and lofty purpose, was simply not up to the task. It had forgotten how to be a pen, an item which is meant to be used daily, to jot down all sorts of things.The absurdity was great, I realised: I had kept this particular pen away from daily use, reserving it to retell and document my daily life! I had stunted its purpose and, in so doing, I had very nearly 'killed' the pen itself.

If we keep the best bits for 'Sunday Best', what are we doing to our experience of our life? We are, in fact, limiting our whole, purposeful, living to a seventh (if that!) of the Greatness we could be experiencing. Even worse, we might be missing out on fabulous related experiences.What's the logic in that?

So, no more 'Sunday Best's for me!

I'm going to use that pen any old time I want to, even to write down the shopping list; and the new red lipstick? I'm wearing it right now, while writing this, as it was while doing some yoga in the park, though no-one is around; and those special teabags I was given? In the mug, yum-yum chai after lunch!

Don't keep your Life's Joy on hold for Sunday Best. Make every day, every activity, worthy of being taken as special. Otherwise, you run the risk of that dress being too big/small/out of fashion before you've worn it ragged; of never inviting enough friends over for dinner lest you break a pretty saucer or spill wine on the carpet; of never writing that novel or going up on that 'open mic night' stage.

Simply Love, enJoy and Live, waiting for nothing.

Everything you are is 'The Best'.

Old enough to remember to forget

The other day I was talking with one of my students (from all of whom I learn more than I can say) about the situation in South Korea regarding the conflict with the North. Among some of the things we mentioned was the contrast with Europe, which was torn asunder by the devastation of WWII only 8 years earlier, yet has still managed to reunify (in Germany) and put aside differences of opinion to create some sort of union (let's not delve into the economy now, though). It was then that the sentence came to me: Europe is old. It is old enough to remember to forget.

When we are children, everything that happens is momentous and seems to deserve remembering. It is the older people, the ones who have learned the value of moments and feelings, that insist we have to 'let it go'. It's not that we are supposed to ignore problems, but rather that we are to be aware of what really matters to us. When we do so, we can make the conscious choice to simply turn our backs on those elements whose memory is not constructive; whose memory fills us with darkness and robs us of joy; whose memory is actually someone else's hangups which dis-empower us.

We, who make up the nations, are not that different from them. If we, as a nation, can accept another's topical and typical foibles, have our own accepted, for a 'common good', why should we resist a similar action at a personal level? Why limit the generosity of that specific selective amnesia to the 'bigger picture'? Let's face it, there is no bigger picture than that of each and every one of our selves.

Remembering can bring pain, sure, but only if the memory it brings about was suppressed rather than excised. The memory of a loved departed is bitter-sweet, and we may rant about the loss, all the while relishing the beauty of the shared moments. Revisiting that memory will slowly bring about a scarring, a healing however ugly. On the other hand, a trauma avoided will fester, untreated, weakening us at the core, so that when it bursts (and it will), we won't be able to withstand its destructive power. Like a cancer, wounds of the soul need attention. If they are harmful, they need to be treated, removed; otherwise, they will metastasise and become parasites off our emotional health.

Choosing to forget does not need mean pushing things out of sight. It means facing, evaluating, dealing with and subsequently letting go of that insidious jagged edge we have learned from. Similarly, being old does not imply forgetting the wonder of living passionately, fully, in honest innocent. Just be wise and clear about your own Wants and Needs, to weed out the self-destructive burden of what was and need be no more.

How much of your life do you remember?
Do you really need all that junk?

Spring clean your soul, for you are old enough to remember.
Now, forget.

Time to wake up from the anaesthesia

We live in a beautiful, bountiful Cosmos, We see its surprising creations daily, miraculously, all around us: the glory of dawns and sunsets; the fantastic changes in the seasons; the astonishingly logical economy of the ecosystems - where everything has a role and nothing goes to waste; the awesomeness of life-generation, two half-cells combining to create a unique, complex, independent, sentient multicellular organism (be it krill or whale, plant or animal, snail or human); the mystery of planets, starts, galaxies far and similar and unlike our own;...

It should be so easy to be aware of all that munificence at every life-giving breath, at every passing cloud spotted, at every thought. Why don't we? Because we have been taught to shy away from it all, which has in turn become too much to handle, and thus appears hostile, oppressive, scary.

Instead of relishing the World around us, glorifying human kindness and creativity, respectful of the Gift they truly are, we aim to control, subject, destroy this (and other) worlds. Then our nature, our inner self and instincts, desolate at the deprivation that will invariably ensue, sounds the alarm so as to jolt us awake to the horror we're producing.

Sadly, we've become too smart for our own good. We've created an untold number of distractions to keep our attention well and busy. Like a toddler with a dummy (pacifier), the many gadgets, terrors, news,... maintain our awareness and will to act distracted, seemingly content. How many times have you, of people you know,  found out about some issue requiring protest and action, which you (or they) have subsequently forgotten? Was it a phone call or an instant message, a cute video of a chain email, that reclaimed your attention to 'the real world'? I cannot tell how many opportunities to create a new world I have let go that way...

I refuse to believe that we've lost the ability to stand up and walk tall, to see and act. Rather, I believe we're under a sort of species-wide, self imposed, state of anaesthesia. As Sir Ken Robinson points out in his research, we're bombarded with interests and then medicated to narrow down our focus. We've deadened our awareness and capacity to react, hoping for a gentler world we can 'handle'. The problem is that anaesthesia only allows for vague, wavering images as dreams, not the observation of the awesome, 3D, polychrome, multi-sensory, fully-fledged reality. We're cheating ourselves. As they say... 'It's time to wake up and smell the roses.'

Good morning! Look! It's our Marvellous World, greeting us all around!

Action, not reaction

People often complain that 'life isn't fair', that 'shit happens', that 'they don't deserve it'... So when I insist that Life is, Always, Perfect, they think I am some deluded (or drugged) optimist, who has no real grasp on reality - or, worse still, who chooses to close her eyes to that same harsh reality.

I used to think this lack of meeting ground stemmed from a different concept of the Universe, where I consider all (Natural or fortuitous) events as part of a wondrous Cosmic Balance Economy; while the others seemed to consider the Universe a hostile place, intent in making it hard for us. Then, this evening, sudden realisation!! It is not a matter of different universal perception, but rather of our own part in that Universe that makes such a divergence.

In other words, people tend to spend time reacting to the world around them; I, on the other hand, would rather act and observe what my actions create.

Now, when I say 'act and observe', I'm not talking about breaking rules for the sheer heck of it, or being a rebel and trailblazer, or even the need to produce and uncommonly wondrous gadget. What I mean is taking action regarding any situation I notice coming, so I am fully responsible for said action and its outcomes. When you take full responsibility, you are in a stronger position, which means whatever happens (positive or negative) will affect you much less powerfully than otherwise. If, instead, you wait for things to happen so you have a guide on how or what to do, then whatever events surround you will have absolute deciding power over you - you are weak.

Action gives us power, thus courage: we become our own heroes. Reaction makes us weak, thus fearful: we become victims.

You still don't see it? Let's take an example: who is responsible for the current economic crisis? You will probably say 'the banks, the economists' - and you are partially right. They are responsible, but so are we. They are responsible because we gave them the power, agreed to follow their rules, and still today have done little but complain (are you still using a bank, a mortgage, credit cards...?). What do I say to this? I am responsible! So, I take action: learn about the options, change my economic schemes, get rid of the plastic. Is it hard? In the beginning, maybe a bit. Later? Well, it all becomes mere results.

Let others worry about the waves in your wake - take the helm.
Act, don't just react!