Ask the Priestess

I often go out for a meal with some friends. In fact, that's our main activity together out of work. True, we do live in other cities and we all work hard. They, in addition, are married / in a partnership, so they have other priorities during their time off. So, we try go grab dinner after work once in a while, before we all go in different directions. Anastasia is the true leader, and she is also the one with the impressive reference list on places to eat and/or drink. She will suggest a place, and we will invariably agree. We know we will always enjoy the food, and, oftentimes, the atmosphere too. My favourites so far are Beyrouth and Portugalia , but I also really like all the others we've been to. I often recommend these places, feeling certain those who follow my suggestions will be pleased. However, I wonder whether I am a good referent. The thing is, I realised something a couple of months ago. I realised, and here I confess, that I don't really care about how uniq...

Sometimes, I am all worded out.  I speak, I listen, all day long as part of my profession. I leave the school building with headset on. Sometimes, I don't even switch on any sound - no radio, no YouTube, no podcast. I just need the space they provide. However, I also often dedicate much of my commute to communicating with friends and family. How to balance that? On the one hand, I don't want to talk to anyone; on the other hand, I want to keep in touch. It is a dilemma, apparently, but there really is quite a simple solution:  I send photos.  Photos are captures of moments I'm struck by a thought. Oftentimes, I'm awed by the strange odds of nature proving its will over that of mankind. In many occasions, it is the marvel of transient beauty: the overwhelming volume of layered clouds; the play of light and darkness, a reflection on a pond... Rarely do I take a photo of an animal, but it can happen: a rabbit near a parking lot; a cat sunning itself on a windowsill; a cran...

I don't work on Saturdays. Actually, I don't work Friday evenings and Saturdays. I keep my version of Shabbat. It started because of my ethno-cultural background, a connection I wanted to reinforce. The Shabbat is the time we ensure we remark upon, celebrate, empower the spiritual and divine in our lives. The idea (in a veeerryyyyy light overview) is not to engage in daily "non divine" activities. Thus, no work, no shopping, no mindless entertainment, ... and, in this modern world, a big key to this is the use of computers.  Again, religious people won't even use electricity, cook, or any of hundreds of rules. From a secular person such as myself, however, I just choose to restrict certain activities rather than completely do away with standard comfort. As I said, I don't work on the Shabbat. I don't use money either. I don't travel (unless I've promised to be there for someone else). I don't use Social Media. I don't watch films and/or ser...

When I was growing up, my name was a bane in my life. Still, I have never wanted a different one. When I read Romeo and Juliet wishing to ignore their names, I could not grasp it. Our names are very important, I believe. Even naming our pets requires a special connection, so how can naming our offspring not matter? Every quirk in our names opens a window into the lives and values of our family, our heritage, the expectations for our future. My name, Deborah, was a difficult one to carry as a child.  To begin with, the registrar decided it was "improper" since it was the name of a woman who went to war. He then proceeded to fill in my birth certificate with a name of his own choosing (Concepción, in case you're wondering). This was towards the end of the ultra-Christian Opus Dei -led Franco dictatorship, thus many may have given in. Not my parents, though, who went to court to have my name legally changed to Deborah, with that specific spelling (instead of the Spanish ...

I don't have children. I only ever desired them for a short few months, some time after moving to the UK. It was a sudden and surprising desire, but I assumed it was the proverbial "biological clock ticking" though it was not loud enough to change my lifestyle. Soon after, I read somewhere (I have lost the source, I'm sorry. I'll attach a link to a related study here ) that there is a suspected link between loneliness and wanting children. Children are perceived as gifts, as constant company, and knowing we have a being fully dependent on us makes us feel worthy. This makes perfect sense to me, and it explains why the craving was so short-lived as well as easily set aside: I simply didn't need them to boost my self-worth any more than I needed constant company. The thought came back a couple of times afterwards, either as a result of witnessing friends have their own offspring, or as symbols for a wish to create an impact. The weight of social belonging, where...

Last Friday was Leila Seder , the beginning of Pesach, also known as 'Passover'. For Jews, it is one of the major holidays, when they celebrate leaving slavery behind in search of their Promised Land. It is thus additionally known as 'The Holiday of Freedom', although among the more lay of the community, it is often referred to as 'The Holiday of Spring', given it usually falls around the time the weather warms up and winter wanes. Last Friday was also Good Friday, when Christians remember The Crucifixion. This took place after Jesus was captured when he and his disciples were celebrating Leila Seder , which is also probably why the bread given out during communion in mass is flat. During Pesach, there is no leavening agents used in cooking - no sodium bicarbonate, no rising agents, nada . This is to commemorate that, as the Israelites were fleeting Pharaoh's lands, they had no time to sit and wait for the dough to rise for bread. Instead of yummy, airy br...

Sisterhood. Sorority. The union of women. I grew up in a female environment: my mum, my grandma, my sisters. Even the cats were female. For the earliest period of my life, I attended a nun-run, female-only school. I even define as a witch, a traditionally female role. I may not have intended it, but I certainly learned the value of female inter-support. Many people talk about the strength that a sense of brotherhood grants its group; army life, for example, is highly dependent on the feelings fraternity brings to the battlefield. Similarly, one finds it creeping through as a sign of sturdy reliability on each other for organisations such as the Masons, gangs, or even college houses. On the other hand, female relationships are often observed with a certain level of mistrust, women considered more prone to backstabbing and 'catfighting' over minor issues. As such, their unions and clubs, their societies, receiving less praise, are kept in a greatly shaded area. I'm here...

Last week, it was my birthday, but I was away for a week, so when I came back to work today, I got all the best wishes. I thanked my coworkers, then went on with my life. I don't really get why people celebrate birthdays. Actually, I do, but only for people who've had a life-threatening scare or are fighting a life condition, which they have overcome (maybe just for now, but a day at a time). In these cases, the people have sort of 'earned' the understanding of what an amazing achievement completing another solar year really means. For the rest of us, who simply live by inertia, unconsciously grateful for modern medicine and a comfortable environment, it has no real meaning. So, why was I away last week, if not to celebrate my birthday? To celebrate life. In a few days, it will be my mother's 7th death anniversary, and my sister and I decided it was time to let her last remains go free, as she loved being. We decided to release her ashes, close that cycle. Mor...