The voice, the pen

I have often noticed how, what one feels, another thinks. Why, then, should we not share those thoughts and feelings? It might make things clearer for all... Here, I am offering snippets on whatever gets me thinking, with the intention of sharing these moments with you, hoping for a dialogue of sorts. Whether a word, a sentence, a whole text, please, share.

Saturday 19 January 2019

Of love and other distorted wonders

There is a song by Spanish group Amaral, whose lyrics go something like 'without you, I am nothing / a drop of water wetting my face / my world is small and my heart is shards of ice'. I liked the music, thus I didn't pay much attention to the lyrics until Maite, a friend, called this a song by 'Amar mal' (to love badly, unwisely). It has been years since that quip, yet it still keeps me alert to my own conditioning.

I am hardly the first person, let alone the most qualified, to point out how very unhealthy most 'romantic love stories' and 'romantic gestures' truly are. And no, I do not blame cinema or pulp fiction, since they are simply providing that which the consumer will buy. Love is another one of those marvelous elements of life, like food, dance, parenthood, even alcohol or adrenaline (to name but a few) that make us, humans, reach the highest peaks of joy and excitement for our mere existence. Love, like all of the others, has been bastardised to keep us wanting, from peak to peak, in order to validate ourselves, our measure , our capability to achieve/deserve joy.

It is no great conspiracy, there is no evil 'capo' or 'secret society' pushing forward an elaborate scheme to control the world through love. Still, even though I am aware of that aspect, I cannot help but try, shift the blame. How else can I accept that we, humans, have taken those wonders that fill us with life and held them hostage? That we have outsourced our capacities and capabilities for awe, fun, jubilation?

Even worse, we have taken our very awareness, pushed it to extremes, in order to stretch so thin, reach so many instances in our world, that its very vitality tears apart. We're no longer awake, but 'woke' - the very validity of our capacity to evaluate and reject old paradigms has been lost to populist oversimplification. Our concerns are so many, we are kept constantly trying to reach all of them but for a few instants per day. Our cries are so constant, over so many details, they have become a background of white noise.

Never the less, I refuse to go back to sleep. I refuse to accept jealousy and possessiveness as characteristics of love, but will rightfully insist they are the children of fear, of self-worthlessness. I refuse to laugh at, or normalise the acceptance of, repeated heavy drinking, but will enjoy a wonderful time with people who savour their drinks. I refuse to ask people about their having children or getting married, but will celebrate with those who chose to do so as I do with those who do neither.

I will dance, and then stay home to rest.
I will eat, then lay down my fork.
I will laugh, then cry if I feel like it.
I will refuse distortion, call it out, encourage enlightenment. Then, I will be on my merry way, let others live as they will. I will hope for life, dispelling lies.

I love me, you, life. Maybe my way of loving is selfish at times, seemingly lacking in passion, cold. It is certainly not a jealous or possessive love. I choose to love you to be you.

Have a think, how do you love? How do you love me? Above all, how do you love you?

ps. I know this is not necessarily what you'd expect after such a long hiatus, but I think it is important enough to break that silence. Feel free to comment, share, and/or suggest subjects to talk about.