Last Friday was Leila Seder, the beginning of Pesach, also known as 'Passover'. For Jews, it is one of the major holidays, when they celebrate leaving slavery behind in search of their Promised Land. It is thus additionally known as 'The Holiday of Freedom', although among the more lay of the community, it is often referred to as 'The Holiday of Spring', given it usually falls around the time the weather warms up and winter wanes.
Last Friday was also Good Friday, when Christians remember The Crucifixion. This took place after Jesus was captured when he and his disciples were celebrating Leila Seder, which is also probably why the bread given out during communion in mass is flat. During Pesach, there is no leavening agents used in cooking - no sodium bicarbonate, no rising agents, nada. This is to commemorate that, as the Israelites were fleeting Pharaoh's lands, they had no time to sit and wait for the dough to rise for bread. Instead of yummy, airy bread, Jews eat matzah, flat and unleavened, for the eight days of Pesach, and Christians partake in it.
I grew up in Spain, where on Good Friday one can witness one of the most important procesiones - large groups known as cofradías, dressed in robes and hoods to forgo pride, follow a millennial tradition taking large effigies depicting the stages of the Passion along the streets of the cities. Even to those who are non-believers, these events are impactful in their reverence, pomp, and time-defying continuity. On the other hand, it can be quite discomfiting in its paraphernalia, particularly the pointed 'capirote' hoods. These are activities intended to make the watcher think about death, and hope for resurrection.
Good Friday, however, is also the beginning of Easter for most Anglo-Saxons, and thus much closer to Pagan celebrations of birth and Spring than to the pain of death. Communities gather to decorate, then hunt for, colourful eggs. Bunnies and fluffy chicks reign on cards and toy form, whilst chocolate reigns at picnic tables. There is no staying indoors to read at night, like during Seder; there is no burning incense and silence only broken by drums, like at a Paso. Instead, children scamper while adults smile blinking in a still-chilly sun.
Do you know what I find most relevant in all these three overlapping traditions?
They are all excuses to celebrate life. They all encourage us to be together, they are all magnificent and worthy of learning about, hopefully also learn from. I have done all three, in different years, and I cannot choose one over the others. The wealth of experiences the world offers us is amazing.
Freedom, Rebirth, the joy of Seasons, all are fantastic reasons to go out there and celebrate Life with those you love.
Which motive, how, and with whom you celebrate, that is up to you.
Blessed holiday!
For more information:
http://www.jewfaq.org/holidaya.htm
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holy_Week
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holy_Week_in_Spain
https://www.britannica.com/topic/Easter-holiday
Monday 22 April 2019
Tuesday 16 April 2019
Touch
Touch is essential to human beings. Our skin is our largest organ, with its millions of nerve ends connecting its surface to our more innermost centres. Even if we lose any of our senses, touch will remain, may it because we actively touch someone else, or because we are being touched.
That may be the reason why we use expressions such as 'it's a very touching story' to imply that our emotional compass has been affected; or 'keep in touch', when what we want is for the other person to remain a part of our tribe, for we care for them and their presence is precious to us; and why most of us relish being caressed, hugged, and so forth.
In the last 24 hours, I have experienced all of these three aspects:
To begin with, I went for a massage. I do so monthly, to help keep my back in shape despite a sedentary job. I only recently realised that it also helps supply the physical contact humans require to live. I am not particularly keen on being randomly touched, despite growing up in Spain. However, I do miss how much more I used to hug friends and family. It is important to let down some of one's physical barriers, I am learning, and we are becoming less able to understand how it all works. I guess that is why there are even events like cuddle parties, where people can re-learn how to exchange simple human contact.
When I left the therapy place, I got on a bus, only to sit right next to a friend I had not seen in years - despite living a mere 20 minutes from each other. She used to be my flatmate, and we 'kept in touch' over the years, mostly thanks to virtual means, but also in person, meeting up for a cuppa (or coffee, in her case) when I visited the country. It was interesting, to not have planned it yet come across one another like that. Catching up with what is behind those FB posts, having a giggle, updating each other about work. Encountering, reconnecting, and nattering away with her for a bit was a wonderful surprise.
I have many friends and family all over the globe, which is a blessing. On the other hand, 'keeping in touch' with them is not as easy as one might think. Technology notwithstanding, one has to take into account time zones, work schedules, family lives, etcetera, thus being able to see the other person, to feel their actual presence right by you, gives all words an added dimension, an extra truth. I also had the chance to share some video-call time with such a physically distant but ever present friend later on today, after months of trying to get it organised. Her little boy was feeling a little under the weather, hence in need of her solidity, her hugs, her kisses, her warmth. We cut the chat short, but it was a victory to get it to happen at all.
Finally, I was touched by the stories surrounding the fire that broke out at Notre Dame in Paris. In general, tragedies do indeed bring out the extremes in people, be it good or bad. What touched me this time was everyone's muted sorrow at the loss of a shared beauty, of communal experience, the link to culture and values. And then, the small joys at the positives: the fact that the structure was saved, as had been the statues and other artwork; the drive to bring it back; the appreciation for the firefighters who worked for so many hours to save the building.
Touch affects us in many ways. We're all just lucky that way.
What touches you? Who have you recently kept in touch with? Whose caresses do you enjoy, or whom do you caress (human or otherwise, all gentle contact is a blessing)?
For more information...
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/infant-touch/
http://www.in-mind.org/article/that-human-touch-that-means-so-much-exploring-the-tactile-dimension-of-social-life
https://www.quora.com/What-is-a-cuddle-party
https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/gabrielsanchez/notre-dame-fire-paris-witnesses-reaction-pictures
https://www.york.ac.uk/news-and-events/news/2019/research/expert-reactions--notre-dame-cathedral-fire/
That may be the reason why we use expressions such as 'it's a very touching story' to imply that our emotional compass has been affected; or 'keep in touch', when what we want is for the other person to remain a part of our tribe, for we care for them and their presence is precious to us; and why most of us relish being caressed, hugged, and so forth.
In the last 24 hours, I have experienced all of these three aspects:
To begin with, I went for a massage. I do so monthly, to help keep my back in shape despite a sedentary job. I only recently realised that it also helps supply the physical contact humans require to live. I am not particularly keen on being randomly touched, despite growing up in Spain. However, I do miss how much more I used to hug friends and family. It is important to let down some of one's physical barriers, I am learning, and we are becoming less able to understand how it all works. I guess that is why there are even events like cuddle parties, where people can re-learn how to exchange simple human contact.
When I left the therapy place, I got on a bus, only to sit right next to a friend I had not seen in years - despite living a mere 20 minutes from each other. She used to be my flatmate, and we 'kept in touch' over the years, mostly thanks to virtual means, but also in person, meeting up for a cuppa (or coffee, in her case) when I visited the country. It was interesting, to not have planned it yet come across one another like that. Catching up with what is behind those FB posts, having a giggle, updating each other about work. Encountering, reconnecting, and nattering away with her for a bit was a wonderful surprise.
I have many friends and family all over the globe, which is a blessing. On the other hand, 'keeping in touch' with them is not as easy as one might think. Technology notwithstanding, one has to take into account time zones, work schedules, family lives, etcetera, thus being able to see the other person, to feel their actual presence right by you, gives all words an added dimension, an extra truth. I also had the chance to share some video-call time with such a physically distant but ever present friend later on today, after months of trying to get it organised. Her little boy was feeling a little under the weather, hence in need of her solidity, her hugs, her kisses, her warmth. We cut the chat short, but it was a victory to get it to happen at all.
Finally, I was touched by the stories surrounding the fire that broke out at Notre Dame in Paris. In general, tragedies do indeed bring out the extremes in people, be it good or bad. What touched me this time was everyone's muted sorrow at the loss of a shared beauty, of communal experience, the link to culture and values. And then, the small joys at the positives: the fact that the structure was saved, as had been the statues and other artwork; the drive to bring it back; the appreciation for the firefighters who worked for so many hours to save the building.
Touch affects us in many ways. We're all just lucky that way.
What touches you? Who have you recently kept in touch with? Whose caresses do you enjoy, or whom do you caress (human or otherwise, all gentle contact is a blessing)?
For more information...
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/infant-touch/
http://www.in-mind.org/article/that-human-touch-that-means-so-much-exploring-the-tactile-dimension-of-social-life
https://www.quora.com/What-is-a-cuddle-party
https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/gabrielsanchez/notre-dame-fire-paris-witnesses-reaction-pictures
https://www.york.ac.uk/news-and-events/news/2019/research/expert-reactions--notre-dame-cathedral-fire/
Saturday 6 April 2019
Sisterhood
Sisterhood. Sorority. The union of women.
I grew up in a female environment: my mum, my grandma, my sisters. Even the cats were female. For the earliest period of my life, I attended a nun-run, female-only school. I even define as a witch, a traditionally female role. I may not have intended it, but I certainly learned the value of female inter-support.
Many people talk about the strength that a sense of brotherhood grants its group; army life, for example, is highly dependent on the feelings fraternity brings to the battlefield. Similarly, one finds it creeping through as a sign of sturdy reliability on each other for organisations such as the Masons, gangs, or even college houses. On the other hand, female relationships are often observed with a certain level of mistrust, women considered more prone to backstabbing and 'catfighting' over minor issues. As such, their unions and clubs, their societies, receiving less praise, are kept in a greatly shaded area.
I'm here, today, to stand for sisterhood, for female connection, for all the gifts inherent in being in a community of women.
I'm not interested in bashing male bonding, let along flagellate anyone into submission to feminism (I'd first have to choose one kind, then fully believe in it). I just want to remind us all that female cooperation is constructive to all its members, and to those around them; that in a time where bullying and sexism insidiously undermine us all, hidden under language PC codes or over-sensitised negation, there is beauty in supporting other women while breaking gender stereotypes.
So, here is to the women who have inspired me throughout life: my mother, my sisters, my aunts, my grandmothers, my stepmother, my friends, and all the women who have shown that community is magical, that we can get ahead by propping each other up, rather than by stepping up alone. Female communities, like hives or colonies, promote the care of all its members, allowing for more generous behaviours within and without the group. Each one of us, feeding on the emotional and physical closeness granted to females, feed in turn those around us.
Sisterhood, the blessing of being a woman among women
I grew up in a female environment: my mum, my grandma, my sisters. Even the cats were female. For the earliest period of my life, I attended a nun-run, female-only school. I even define as a witch, a traditionally female role. I may not have intended it, but I certainly learned the value of female inter-support.
Many people talk about the strength that a sense of brotherhood grants its group; army life, for example, is highly dependent on the feelings fraternity brings to the battlefield. Similarly, one finds it creeping through as a sign of sturdy reliability on each other for organisations such as the Masons, gangs, or even college houses. On the other hand, female relationships are often observed with a certain level of mistrust, women considered more prone to backstabbing and 'catfighting' over minor issues. As such, their unions and clubs, their societies, receiving less praise, are kept in a greatly shaded area.
I'm here, today, to stand for sisterhood, for female connection, for all the gifts inherent in being in a community of women.
I'm not interested in bashing male bonding, let along flagellate anyone into submission to feminism (I'd first have to choose one kind, then fully believe in it). I just want to remind us all that female cooperation is constructive to all its members, and to those around them; that in a time where bullying and sexism insidiously undermine us all, hidden under language PC codes or over-sensitised negation, there is beauty in supporting other women while breaking gender stereotypes.
So, here is to the women who have inspired me throughout life: my mother, my sisters, my aunts, my grandmothers, my stepmother, my friends, and all the women who have shown that community is magical, that we can get ahead by propping each other up, rather than by stepping up alone. Female communities, like hives or colonies, promote the care of all its members, allowing for more generous behaviours within and without the group. Each one of us, feeding on the emotional and physical closeness granted to females, feed in turn those around us.
Sisterhood, the blessing of being a woman among women
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