Touch

Touch is essential to human beings. Our skin is our largest organ, with its millions of nerve ends connecting its surface to our more innermost centres. Even if we lose any of our senses, touch will remain, may it because we actively touch someone else, or because we are being touched.

That may be the reason why we use expressions such as 'it's a very touching story' to imply that our emotional compass has been affected; or 'keep in touch', when what we want is for the other person to remain a part of our tribe, for we care for them and their presence is precious to us; and why most of us relish being caressed, hugged, and so forth.

In the last 24 hours, I have experienced all of these three aspects:

To begin with, I went for a massage. I do so monthly, to help keep my back in shape despite a sedentary job. I only recently realised that it also helps supply the physical contact humans require to live. I am not particularly keen on being randomly touched, despite growing up in Spain. However, I do miss how much more I used to hug friends and family. It is important to let down some of one's physical barriers, I am learning, and we are becoming less able to understand how it all works. I guess that is why there are even events like cuddle parties, where people can re-learn how to exchange simple human contact.

When I left the therapy place, I got on a bus, only to sit right next to a friend I had not seen in years - despite living a mere 20 minutes from each other. She used to be my flatmate, and we 'kept in touch' over the years, mostly thanks to virtual means, but also in person, meeting up for a cuppa (or coffee, in her case) when I visited the country. It was interesting, to not have planned it yet come across one another like that. Catching up with what is behind those FB posts, having a giggle, updating each other about work. Encountering, reconnecting, and nattering away with her for a bit was a wonderful surprise.

I have many friends and family all over the globe, which is a blessing. On the other hand, 'keeping in touch' with them is not as easy as one might think. Technology notwithstanding, one has to take into account time zones, work schedules, family lives, etcetera, thus being able to see the other person, to feel their actual presence right by you, gives all words an added dimension, an extra truth. I also had the chance to share some video-call time with such a physically distant but ever present friend later on today, after months of trying to get it organised. Her little boy was feeling a little under the weather, hence in need of her solidity, her hugs, her kisses, her warmth. We cut the chat short, but it was a victory to get it to happen at all.

Finally, I was touched by the stories surrounding the fire that broke out at Notre Dame in Paris. In general, tragedies do indeed bring out the extremes in people, be it good or bad. What touched me this time was everyone's muted sorrow at the loss of a shared beauty, of communal experience, the link to culture and values. And then, the small joys at the positives: the fact that the structure was saved, as had been the statues and other artwork; the drive to bring it back; the appreciation for the firefighters who worked for so many hours to save the building.

Touch affects us in many ways. We're all just lucky that way.

What touches you? Who have you recently kept in touch with? Whose caresses do you enjoy, or whom do you caress (human or otherwise, all gentle contact is a blessing)?



For more information...

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/infant-touch/
http://www.in-mind.org/article/that-human-touch-that-means-so-much-exploring-the-tactile-dimension-of-social-life
https://www.quora.com/What-is-a-cuddle-party

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/gabrielsanchez/notre-dame-fire-paris-witnesses-reaction-pictures


https://www.york.ac.uk/news-and-events/news/2019/research/expert-reactions--notre-dame-cathedral-fire/