Old enough to remember to forget

The other day I was talking with one of my students (from all of whom I learn more than I can say) about the situation in South Korea regarding the conflict with the North. Among some of the things we mentioned was the contrast with Europe, which was torn asunder by the devastation of WWII only 8 years earlier, yet has still managed to reunify (in Germany) and put aside differences of opinion to create some sort of union (let's not delve into the economy now, though). It was then that the sentence came to me: Europe is old. It is old enough to remember to forget.

When we are children, everything that happens is momentous and seems to deserve remembering. It is the older people, the ones who have learned the value of moments and feelings, that insist we have to 'let it go'. It's not that we are supposed to ignore problems, but rather that we are to be aware of what really matters to us. When we do so, we can make the conscious choice to simply turn our backs on those elements whose memory is not constructive; whose memory fills us with darkness and robs us of joy; whose memory is actually someone else's hangups which dis-empower us.

We, who make up the nations, are not that different from them. If we, as a nation, can accept another's topical and typical foibles, have our own accepted, for a 'common good', why should we resist a similar action at a personal level? Why limit the generosity of that specific selective amnesia to the 'bigger picture'? Let's face it, there is no bigger picture than that of each and every one of our selves.

Remembering can bring pain, sure, but only if the memory it brings about was suppressed rather than excised. The memory of a loved departed is bitter-sweet, and we may rant about the loss, all the while relishing the beauty of the shared moments. Revisiting that memory will slowly bring about a scarring, a healing however ugly. On the other hand, a trauma avoided will fester, untreated, weakening us at the core, so that when it bursts (and it will), we won't be able to withstand its destructive power. Like a cancer, wounds of the soul need attention. If they are harmful, they need to be treated, removed; otherwise, they will metastasise and become parasites off our emotional health.

Choosing to forget does not need mean pushing things out of sight. It means facing, evaluating, dealing with and subsequently letting go of that insidious jagged edge we have learned from. Similarly, being old does not imply forgetting the wonder of living passionately, fully, in honest innocent. Just be wise and clear about your own Wants and Needs, to weed out the self-destructive burden of what was and need be no more.

How much of your life do you remember?
Do you really need all that junk?

Spring clean your soul, for you are old enough to remember.
Now, forget.