It takes a village

It takes a village to raise a child. How many people does it take to help the child grow and become a wo/man?

I am the result of the efforts of many. Some of the wonderful people, and most of the horrid ones, are lost to the mists of time (or, rather, a bad memory). But most of my "village" are either with me or pop up randomly. You can do your count for your personal case as I do mine. In fact, please do so. Feel how their memory heals the gaps in your self-understanding, helping you come out the rounder for it. And thank them.

I suppose the village starts immediately outside your family home door: your neighbours. I grew up in a city, in flats, and so we literally shared the building with other people. If we could not be looked after by our family, they would open their doors. Most are now gone, which makes it more poignant when I go back yet cannot visit. They were generous, for simple neighbourly reasons. I want to be like them.

Second down the timeline are the people at school, both teachers and classmates. From the first I learned to be inspired, and to try to inspire and love - I know most children ignore it, but looking back, that is what I really learned if not what I was intentionally taught. From the second group, I learned the skills to play within society, what can hurt and what can heal you when you feel hurt. My earliest teachers are all retired, and my classmates are all scattered. Their help has spread, and they were hopefully helped by my presence in their life, in turn.

Then we expand to outside rings: independent friends, sportsmates, workmates... They are extended exercises in our initial social skills - a true gift, each and every one of them. Their most perfected element will be our lovers/partners/... Whether you have one life-long partner, a string of them, or a cluster of relationships, each one is so private and demanding, you will need all possible skills to cherish them. It is the chance to give in spades.

And last, but not least, are all the people who help us in other ways: doctors who help us be healthier; the shop assistants who aid us when we require something; the civil servants who work in the shadows so our paperwork gets done (even if we all complain about them); the bus drivers who suffer the jams while we read and groan... Look out and count in a day how many people make your life easier. Amazing.

It takes more than a simple village: it takes the world.