Why do our friends love us?

I am always grateful for the amazing people in my life. Often enough, though, I feel I don't do them justice. I mean, it's just me being me most of the time, so what's there to be got from being my friend?

I suppose a self-definition of this ilk is an example of woeful self-deprecation - not necessarily a good thing, despite standard religious education. In fact, I have often realised it is a smoke screen to myself, as many others I use, mostly unaware.

But, why would I make use of such a tool?

To help ask myself, of course! Or, if not of course, at least it is what I have come to think, considering the amount of questions the strategy has brought up just by making its presence known.

Ask myself. Yeah, that sounds deep and important enough. Still... does it matter? Does it matter if I discover some dark reason hidden in the darkness of my forgotten memories? Would my life change dramatically by shedding light on the very instant I first recognised my jealousy, or saw a member of my family as an enemy in contention for my parent's love?

I know I might incur some people's wrath by saying (right, typing) this, but Freud was not the saviour of the human psyche. No, he was the father of its demise from negligence and alienation. Our psyche has been divested of the romantic myth and thus it withers. We have believed the envious sisters rather than our own lover's warmth. How sad to accept that we lost Eros out of fear of the unknown; empiricism is the bitter refuge of modern humans.

If my friends' love for me is a mystery, then that's all right. I will thrill in its surprise and wonder, blessed, grateful. After all, am in in the secret.

Love is.
Love IS.
Love = is

And that's that.

The main things

There are few things as wonderful as a few hours spent sharing with a friend, running trough the whole range of feeling, from joy to anger to pain. It is such a simple blessing, so easy to attain: meet up with a friend, chat and share.

Today I have had such an experience, I've been blessed once again. And I have been reminded why it is so essential to follow one's heart, to put love/friendship/family/passion/you-name-it first and before all else. Seriously, it could have been so easy to be waylaid by the myriad elements in the day - the delay leaving work, the fact that I was feeling guilty for the previous week, the busy days ahead, the tasks that have not been finished as I would want to finish them, the coworker feeling lost whom I have not saved, dot. Dot. DOT.

So ominous, to know the list could be continued, that I can always find another reason to flagellate myself and forgo my choice, postpone my time with my friend.

So empowering, to a point even funny, to realise that those mighty obstacles were, in fact always are, but like minute pebbles in my shoe: if I want to walk, I simply must recognise they are there, stop and shake them out. And the main thing is, they WILL fall out! I will then be free to leave them by the road, and continue on my way.

The reward, on the other hand, is greater than a mountain, worthier than anything else, more varied and unexpected than clouds have shapes. You will follow your bliss and conquer your heart, maybe creating a fortune or a simple lemon drizzle cake. You will rediscover who you are, and relish it. You will experience what makes you aware.

Today, for example, I've spent time with my friend.