I was hoping to spend a quiet day in bed, not for any reason (i.e. I'm healthy, no need to panic), just because I can since it was a Sunday. But no, I realised I actually wanted to go to Richmond Park (I have been in London for five years, but never there), and that I had to somehow explore.
So I sloooowly got dressed, even put on some make up (!!), checked the bus map and decided which buses I needed (without checking the TfL website! I'm very proud of myself, as it's become a sort of permanent crutch, that site) and eventually did leave the house. I decided to try and find another way to get to the bus stop, and followed a footpath between the houses. The good news is, I did manage to get to the stop. The so-so news are, it had taken me longer than without the 'shortcut'. And the 'harrumph' news, I had just missed the bus and had to wait another 20 minutes. Thankfully, I had bought myself gloves and a hat the previous evening, so I did not freeze, you might be pleased to know (yes, this is me typing, no lost digits, no need for a scribe).
I had to change buses at a place called Hatton Cross, and a-ma-zing-ly, I got off one and onto the other in a single move, and off we went! For an hour. By a place with a centre for young offenders. And a football-mad area. And over the Thames. And suddenly, on the other side of the river, Richmond. I must say, one of London's fabulous aspects is the seemingly random juxtaposition of areas, both social, architectural and economically speaking. This was just the same. Over the bridge, and after the unprepossessing Twickenham, we were faced with grand Georgian architecture, cafes by the river, boathouses, and a decidedly empire-European air. I confess, I lapped it up.
So, off the bus, and back track to some sort of roundabout to try and find the park. I had brought my map (I might have wanted to explore, but this is not virgin territory, so trying to get a idea of where more or less I was didn't sound too bad), and the park is huge (really, google it - it's even got deer!), and still I managed to keep missing it! It was sort of like Australia, anything but small, and still how long did it manage to stay happily ignored? In the end, success! I found a trail of fallen leaves, a muddy path, a carpet of acorns, and trees!! Love at first step. Despite the fading light, I went in for a bit. When I left, I knew I had not seen all I wanted, all that it had to offer. As in any early romance, there is still much to learn, to share, to sense.
On my way back, I remembered the cafes by the river, and, after a few unplanned detours (hey, it was cloudy! I could not navigate by the stars. And I had forgotten my astrolabe in the other bag anyhow), I got back to the water. But the cafes were closing, or serving dinner already. I sat on a bench, drank some water. A man came up, obviously both drunk and lonely, muttering to himself that he was a man of the world. He saw me and asked me, 'Are you a woman of the world?' I actually thought about it. 'I don't know.' He asked to sit down for five minutes, and I said fine. It was a public bench, but he was obviously touched that I had not recoiled in horror, disgust or fear. He made the most of the five minutes, telling me about his life, and how he used to play semiprofessional football, but was never good enough for the pro leagues - though his brother did play as a pro. He repeated it, again and again. Funny, when I had asked him why he drank (after he had asked me why I like red), he had not known.
We are masters are hiding the knives we injure our souls with.
I left him after the five minutes, peculiarly sorry for him, but not guilty as I used to be. I used to carry around the worry for all the ills in the world. Now, as I look at him and others like him, I am glad I have chosen a different life, and I am aware that we all can choose. I am glad I am willing to see my own hurt, go through it, and face the consequences. Then, observe what I have created, and move on, pain and all. I am glad I have created the people to do it with, the place to do it at, the process to do it through.
I chose to explore, and discovered an enchanted forest and my own, more honest, heart.
What did you choose today?
